£0.70

"How are you feeling?"
"Okay."
"And honestly?"
"Not good."
"Have you cut yourself?"
"Yes"
"How many times?"
"I don't know"
"Are they bad?"
"Some bled"
"When did you last cut?"
"Today, at lunch, I bought a compass and cut in the toilets."
"Okay...Did you make you feel better?"
"No."

The price of self harm: 70p. 70p for a compass, then a shaky walk to the toilets. Cut. Be sick. Plaster on a smile. Walk into tutor. Sorted.

"I'm fine."

It's funny, I say it so much, I'm starting to believe it myself. I'm not fine, but the magic smile fools people. And they really do think I'm okay. Except my doctor. I couldn't fool her. And I'm annoyed at myself for not trying harder. It's hurting too much and I am a bad person for lying to so many people, when really, all they want to do is help me.